Honest

I promise, I'll connect honesty with this quote. Just read Romans six (and bang your head against the wall in a mix of emotions and truth).

I struggle with being honest, not like I lie about stealing cookies or how tall I am, but about the state of my heart. I would rather not see my sin, my emotion, and simply coast by. This way I can be seemingly perfect, low maintenance, and fun. The whole issue is, it's not coasting, it's sinking. 

Self-reliance and perfectionism is destructive, especially because how self-deceptive it can be.  It's essentially claiming ourselves as our own gods, rather than relying on the strength and basking in the love that God has lavished on us. It is trading true perfection for cracking and empty satisfaction. 

So on a mission of honesty, God broke me. Romans 6 absolutely revolutionized my train of thought. 

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. (Romans 6:6-11 ESV)

So often I sit and look at my sin in a hopeless state. In my own strength, I can't move away from it or see past myself. It's selfishness, pride, and an ignorance that propels me to ignore what I cannot change.

But Christ DIED and ROSE for that. He came and conquered sin, not just so that we could be in relationship with Him forever, but also so that we could be more like His Son. We don't have to sit in our sin anymore. We have the power of God to change, with His grace, and through His mercy. 

Are you kidding me? This is incredible. 

Preparing for school, leaving my job, and studying my brain out, looks vastly different now. This intense and soul-filling truth fills me in the way no amount of approval or achievement can; because I know that what I have done is forgiven, and the things that I will do are covered in the Lord's grace and power. 

So yes, C.S. Lewis, far greater things lie before us.